You Can Win Even When You Lose Confidence

My 2019 Christmas party felt like a failure.

It’s my favorite time of year, so I wanted to do something that captured the heart of Christmas: wrap gifts for the homeless.

But I chickened out. I was afraid people would think it was too cheesy. 

By the end of the night, that familiar pit in my stomach was back. Regret.

I forgot that building confidence is actually two battles. 

I was losing the second one.

🎮 Cheat Code: The Win Storm

When we’re building confidence, there are actually two battles we face.

1. You vs. anxiety before you do the thing
2. You vs. replaying all your mistakes afterwards

Most of us lose the second one.

We count our losses in detail until it all feels like a failure. And then we’re scared to try again.

But here’s the thing: you can still win even in a loss, IF you count your wins.

Instead of replaying every loss, try the win storm.

1. What’s one thing that went well? 
2. What would past-me have struggled with today?
3. What fear did I crush just by showing up?
4. What did I learn that’ll make me stronger next time?
5. Why am I glad it’s over? (Relief counts as a win.)

Keep replaying your answers until your feelings catch up. Focus on why these wins are good.

Counting your wins unlocks a new level of confidence because:

• You extract good from any situation
• You learn how to get back up quickly
• You stop the downward spiral before it starts

Win, lose or draw -- you still win.

⭐Win of the Week

After people left, I spent time wishing I hadn’t thrown the party.

But years ago, I wouldn’t even want to attend a party, let alone host one.

I thought about what it took to make this happen: inviting people, mixing friend groups, worrying about how my place looked.

Just throwing the party was a win. Being the center of attention was a win. Hosting was a win.

When I added it all up, my wins were more than I thought.

Got a win? Reply and I’ll share it here (anonymously) to inspire others.

▶️ Press Play

Roadmap automatically captures your wins.

After each victory over anxiety, we ask what went well. And when you hit a setback, your comeback fuel is just a tap away.

Play Roadmap. Get wins. Bounce back faster.

Your Turn

You can still win even when you lose confidence. Instead of replaying your mistakes, count your wins. Win, lose or draw -- you still win.

Love,

-T.O.