Social Anxiety is ruining your life.
It forces you to hide your opinions, run from new opportunities, and lose out on having authentic relationships with people.
And you’ve probably realized that if you don’t change, your life will be filled with running. But you don’t want that. You want to live a fulfilling life.
You want to be able to confidently share your opinions, seize new opportunities, and have an impact in someone's world.
Did I get that right? Cool, I just described myself too :)
Why you should stick around
Hi, I’m TiOluwa — but my friends call me T.O. I write to help people overcome their social anxiety and live fulfilling lives.
Each post, you’ll receive steps to change your negative thought patterns, live authentically, and track your growth. So what are you waiting for? Join Roadmap!
I’ve silently struggled with emotions my whole life. And after my college crush “crushed” me, I started to write regularly. Writing helped me recognize my patterns, understand myself, and grow. I wanted to help others do the same.
So in 2014, I started building Roadmap -- an app to help people overcome their emotions and grow. It was my passion. But it didn't change anyone because I didn't fully understand what drove my own emotions.
Disclaimer: This next part gets dicey depending on what you believe. Don’t worry, I’m not here to preach to you. But gosh darn it, this is my story!
A year and a half in, God asked me to take a break from Roadmap. It was the most stressful day of my life. But after pretending I didn’t hear for a week, I finally took His advice. I lived without building anything for a year.
The Biggest Lesson of My Life
I soon understood why I stressed SO MUCH about taking a break. Building Roadmap was a good thing, but I made it EVERYTHING. And that's when I realized something.
Since I wanted Roadmap so badly, I stressed like hell when I was asked to lay it down. And if desires drove emotions on a large scale, I wondered if it was true for daily emotions too.
So every time I felt a negative emotion, I wrote down my thoughts. I found that behind every negative emotion is something I want badly. I’m either extremely afraid to lose it (see: anxiety) or extremely displeased if I don’t get it (see: anger).
A Weapon For My Worst Emotions
But if chasing what I didn’t have drove negative emotions, maybe remembering what I did have could help fight them.
So when I was anxious about what people thought of my ideas, I’d write about why I thought the idea was worthwhile. If I was angry about someone not being independent, I’d write about a time I’d been helped.
It still took practice. But I found that specific gratitude is the best weapon for negative emotions.
The next nine months were some of the best, most fulfilling days of my life. I still longed to work on Roadmap. But the more I remembered what I had, the more I realized that I didn’t need Roadmap to live fulfilled. That was the best feeling of all.
After a while, I did get back to working on Roadmap. But I can put it in its right place because I know it’s not everything.
So now I keep a close eye on my emotions. I constantly discern what I’m chasing and try to focus on the specific things I have. It’s a daily battle, but so far it’s helped me live a much more fulfilling life.
That’s why I’m creating Roadmap -- to help us overcome our worst emotions and live fulfilled. And I’m going to start with the emotion that I struggle with most now: social anxiety.
So if you’re into that, what are you waiting for? Join Roadmap!